Bernie vs. Trump (Satire)

Anderson Cooper: Welcome to Clinton News Network, tonight we will be hosting the debate between two angry old white men. At the end of this debate, we will bombard you with pro-Hillary propaganda, stay tuned.

*Bernie and Trump walk out on stage*

Bernie: My name is Bernie Sanders. I am running for President because I am the only Democratic candidate capable of beating Donald Drumpf in the general election.

Trump: My name is Donald Drumpf and I'm running for President cause I want to build a wall. It's going to be YUUUGE.

Cooper: Alright, first question is to Mr. Drumpf, what do you think we need to about immigration reform?

Trump: I would like to make America whit- I mean great again. Build a wall, it'll beYUUUUGE.

Cooper: Bernie, what is your stance on immigration?

Bernie: Keep families together, build brides, not walls.

Trump: YUUUUUGE WALL

Cooper: All right, good to hear, what about your stance on animal rights?

Bernie: Birdie Sanders 2016.

Trump:

Cooper: Good to hear. We'll take a break for now and let both candidates take a breather, remember, the polls make say Bernie is the best candidate to beat Drumpf, but we still want you to vote for Hillary!